Courtship :: Dating (Relationships)

There is HUGE debate about the method of building a relationship with the opposite sex. Our culture teaches that we are to engage in multiple dating relationships as though it were normal. The fact is that the current modern dating methods has only been around for less than a century.

Now I know that we would all agree that our purpose in our lives is to seek and serve God. This is also true in the area of relationships. We must understand what God's plan for relationships is, and then follow it. But what is dating and how do I get over this idea in the realm of 'biblical dating'...some people call it courtship.

Today's modern dating scene usually consist of hiding all your flaws to give a false impression of yourself, in hopes of keeping your partner attracted to you. This type of dating is all about self-gratification, meaning that you date to satisfy your own needs. On the other hand, courtship is about open exploration of each others lives leading up to marriage. It is an honest process that involves the parents heavily.

Here is where dating becomes dangerous, such things like kissing, intimate hugging, sex and raising children are recognized as sacred to our partner and subject only to marriage. I realize that everyone has a different view of what is right and wrong, but in doing these act we engage in rampant emotional promiscuity, giving pieces of our hearts away until one wonders what will be left for that special, life-long partner.

When we are focused on His principles and having pleasure in making God a number one priority, we will wind up having a very satisfying and pleasant marriage. The Book of Ruth provides an excellent examples of courtship at work. Flirting will only make a contract that you are not willing to fulfill while you are only attempting to increase your own value, even at the expense of the other person.

True love is a commitment to increasing the other person's value.

--Armando
armando@csulb.net