Courtship :: Dating (Relationships)

There is HUGE debate about the method of building a relationship with the opposite sex. Our culture teaches that we are to engage in multiple dating relationships as though it were normal. The fact is that the current modern dating methods has only been around for less than a century.

Now I know that we would all agree that our purpose in our lives is to seek and serve God. This is also true in the area of relationships. We must understand what God's plan for relationships is, and then follow it. But what is dating and how do I get over this idea in the realm of 'biblical dating'...some people call it courtship.

Today's modern dating scene usually consist of hiding all your flaws to give a false impression of yourself, in hopes of keeping your partner attracted to you. This type of dating is all about self-gratification, meaning that you date to satisfy your own needs. On the other hand, courtship is about open exploration of each others lives leading up to marriage. It is an honest process that involves the parents heavily.

Here is where dating becomes dangerous, such things like kissing, intimate hugging, sex and raising children are recognized as sacred to our partner and subject only to marriage. I realize that everyone has a different view of what is right and wrong, but in doing these act we engage in rampant emotional promiscuity, giving pieces of our hearts away until one wonders what will be left for that special, life-long partner.

When we are focused on His principles and having pleasure in making God a number one priority, we will wind up having a very satisfying and pleasant marriage. The Book of Ruth provides an excellent examples of courtship at work. Flirting will only make a contract that you are not willing to fulfill while you are only attempting to increase your own value, even at the expense of the other person.

True love is a commitment to increasing the other person's value.

--Armando
armando@csulb.net

Trying to Understand Homosexuality

There are a number of churches in the Long Beach area and the country that embrace homosexuality. The "come as you are" routine is being applied to church pastors and the leadership of these churches.

The main defense these churches use come from 2 Samuel 1:26 where David and Johathan had a relationship that surpassed the love of women. Is this referring to sexual love? I don't think it is. This was about a special friendship that was different from a sexual relationship. According to the Levitical law, David and Jonathan would have been stoned from commiting these acts (Lev 18:22; 20:13).

Genesis 2:18-25
And the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a companion who will help him..."

When God created Adam a partner for Adam, He created Eve, not another Adam. The immediate question that popped in my mind was "What was the reason why God made two sexes."

I think that if God had intended both homosexual and heterosexual marriage, He would have designed our bodies to allow reproduction through both means. It would be healthy and natural both ways, too. Then I think about the super-high risk of homosexual male have of disease. Check out Romans 1:24-32. I'll only focus on 1:26-27

Romans 1:26-27
That is why God abandoned them to their shameful desires. Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. And the men, instead of having normal sexual relationships with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men and, as a result, suffered within themselves the penalty they so richly deserved.

Now for a crazy verse:
1 Corinthians 6:9-10
Don't you know that those who do wrong will have no share in the Kingdom of God? Don't fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, who are idol worshipers, adulterers, male prostitutes, homosexuals, thieves, greedy people, drunkards, abusers, and swindlers--none of these will have a share in the Kingdom of God.

There are other verses that indicate that these passions and acts are unnatural, shameful, & contrary to doctrine and deny entrance to the Kingdom of God. The church has no choice but to uphold this idea. The church exists to save people, not to bless what is clearly not of God.

Now this seems crazy, right? I mean, how can someone say that about two people who have such deep emotions for each other? Are emotions a sufficient basis for marriage?

Just because an emotion is deep or powerful does not justify acting upon it. For example, I'm an alcoholic. I loved alcohol. I still love alcohol. It's a deep emotional desire that I have that is powerful and addictive. But I've recognized that it is ultimately terribly destructive to my body and mind. I don't deny that many homosexuals feel deeply for their partners, but I must say that no matter how deep the feelings, what they have cannot be a marriage in God's sight, according to scripture.

Does that mean that I feel like I'm better than everyone else by saying these things about homosexuals? Of course not. In fact, I do have some friends that are openly gay and we can still remain friends. I also have straight friends that are living together and are continuing "playing" husband & wife without "being" husband & wife. I have to understand that a sin is a sin whether it's addiction, murder, the love of money, lust (whether homosexual or not), etc.

--Armando
armando@csulb.net